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Garfield on 1st May 2014
1st May 2014

Oh, Garfield... Surprise! It's an apple pie! I prefer surprises in pie form!

Garfield on 2nd May 2014
2nd May 2014

Liz is coming over tonight. Maybe I should tidy up. Think she'll want a clean fork? Let's not get crazy, here...

Garfield on 3rd May 2014
3rd May 2014

What do you think of these fangs, huh? They could be whiter. MMMM! And braking with your mouth closed is just humming.

Garfield on 4th May 2014
4th May 2014

Z One sleeping dog... Z One can sneezing powder... Z Apply sneezing powder to finger... Z Apply finger to sleeping dog's nose, annnd... Z CHOO And that were dumb.

Garfield on 5th May 2014
5th May 2014

I know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Yes, this is it. And no, I don't need an assistant.

Garfield on 6th May 2014
6th May 2014

Today is going to be my lucky day! WHAP! Of course, it's early yet! Always the optimist...

Garfield on 7th May 2014
7th May 2014

I might have a flaw or two. I'm perfect. Tell me more about your many weaknesses.

Garfield on 8th May 2014
8th May 2014

I vacuumed today, Garfield... And I discovered something. The rug isn't green. So it's not evolving?

Garfield on 9th May 2014
9th May 2014

Hi, sweetie. You're so sweet. It's Liz. I figured it was that or you were talking to a donut.

Garfield on 10th May 2014
10th May 2014

I invited Sally to the prom. I don't think she wanted to go wit hme. She burned her gown on my front lawn. Subtle.

Garfield on 11th May 2014
11th May 2014

Oh, come on! You really liked that movie? Yes, I did. You CAN'T be serious! Of COURSE I am! ...men! ...women! ...dogs! -

Garfield on 12th May 2014
12th May 2014

It says here that you should greet monday morning with a smile. Or not. How about a gut-wrenching scream of desperation?

Garfield on 13th May 2014
13th May 2014

Good things come to those who wait. Of course there's something to be said for that instant gratification thing, too.

Garfield on 14th May 2014
14th May 2014

Life is a mystery, Garfield. So many questions. Like, what day is this? You are so cosmic.

Garfield on 15th May 2014
15th May 2014

Life is a reflecting pool, Garfield. Where one can see one's true self. I have cool hair. The water must be murky today.

Garfield on 16th May 2014
16th May 2014

What's your favorite polka song, Liz? Uh... I don't think I have one. Too hard to choose, huh? Just nod your head and back away slowly.

Garfield on 17th May 2014
17th May 2014

I'm writing my memoirs, Garfield. Chapter two... That's where I get kidnapped by aliens. I suspected as much...

Garfield on 18th May 2014
18th May 2014

Sigh... I've got this long list of things to do, Garfield... And all I REALLY want to do is take a long nap on the couch. But how can I do that without feeling massive guilt?! Teache me your ways, o master. Come to the sloth side,young Arbuckle.

Garfield on 19th May 2014
19th May 2014

I hate mornings. I hate cheerful morning people. And I hate the old rubber omelet gag.

Garfield on 20th May 2014
20th May 2014

Jon's on the social network. Here's his list of friends. "Bob".

Garfield on 21st May 2014
21st May 2014

Where have you been? Eating lasagna. Did you save me some? Hello, my name is Garfield. I don't believe we've met.

Garfield on 22nd May 2014
22nd May 2014

Ah, my high school garuation. I remember when they called my name. "Ron Arbuckle". Thanks for sharing, Ron.

Garfield on 23rd May 2014
23rd May 2014

I like having Liz around, Garfield. She's very thoughtful And she doesn't shred the curtains. Just wait.

Garfield on 24th May 2014
24th May 2014

Here's a delicious burger that I'm leaving next to you. I hope you don't eat it! Why don't you just throw the tofu away?

Garfield on 25th May 2014
25th May 2014

click I chewed my owner's slippers. I'm too cute for words. I steal cheese. I'm a fat, lazy pig. I posted a stupid picture of my cat.

Garfield on 26th May 2014
26th May 2014

Monday... TONK GOOSH At least it's reliable.

Garfield on 27th May 2014
27th May 2014

BURP! tick tick tick tick You don't have to text me EVERYTHING you do!

Garfield on 28th May 2014
28th May 2014

I lent Odie a book. I gave Odie a book.

Garfield on 29th May 2014
29th May 2014

We'll save you! That isn't necessary! I'm fine, thank you! Are you sure?! Never trust dogs with ladders.

Garfield on 30th May 2014
30th May 2014

Garfield, what are you trying to tell me? Is there danger? Do NOT go to the beach!

Garfield on 31st May 2014
31st May 2014

Tonight's horror movie... "Claws of Death!" Oh, look, Howard, a little kitten! Run, Howard, run.

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