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Garfield on 1st June 2014
1st June 2014

Z Z MMMPH! MMMMPH! STOP IT! I'll stop it when your face stops being warm.

Garfield on 2nd June 2014
2nd June 2014

You have a choice of alarms this morning. Do you prefer humorous or practical? Humorous. Did you hear the one about the cat and the lawn mower? I hate mornings.

Garfield on 3rd June 2014
3rd June 2014

I need a new hobby. Bottle cap collecting wasn't exciting enough for you? Maybe I can take up bird watching! I can see the headline now... Or identify different types of wood! "Local cat found bored to death near binoculars".

Garfield on 4th June 2014
4th June 2014

BEWARE OF THE DOG You saw the sign, right? This is how I beware.

Garfield on 5th June 2014
5th June 2014

Garfield, where is my fish? By now? Somewhere between the esophagus and the duodenum.

Garfield on 6th June 2014
6th June 2014

All we have is noodles, so we're having noodles tonight, Garfield. The forks are dirty, but we can use these pencils like chopsticks. And the napkins are still in the laundry, so... Will you please get married!

Garfield on 7th June 2014
7th June 2014

I like it better when we have mice.

Garfield on 8th June 2014
8th June 2014

Sigh... Hey, Odie, I'm stuck. Can you help me out? -

Garfield on 9th June 2014
9th June 2014

I'm in charge around here. Nobody else wanted the job.

Garfield on 10th June 2014
10th June 2014

Moss always grows on the north side of a tree. Who cares? Which side does the taffy grow on?

Garfield on 11th June 2014
11th June 2014

Odie isn't going outside today. The tough squirrels are out there. Las time, they forced him to gather acorns.

Garfield on 12th June 2014
12th June 2014

Someday I'll get what I deserve. WAIT! I want something WAY better than that.

Garfield on 13th June 2014
13th June 2014

Another age nightmare? Yep. You don't look very scary to me. Oh? I'm the menu you can't read without the glasses you can't find. I stand corrected.

Garfield on 14th June 2014
14th June 2014

You? You can't POSSIBLY be an age nightmare. Oh, but I am... I'm that awful music that kids today listen to! Go away.

Garfield on 15th June 2014
15th June 2014

GUH! GAH! GAH! UNGGGGHHH GRUNT...GRUNT...EEEEERRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH HUP! HUP! HOOP! Getting out of bed gets harder every year, doesn't it? Blow it out your box spring.

Garfield on 16th June 2014
16th June 2014

You're tonight's age nightmare? Yupper-do. But you're coffee. Coffe's not scary. Oh, no? I'm decaf, with nonfat milk and artificial sweetener. YAAHH

Garfield on 17th June 2014
17th June 2014

...so you're my age nightmare tonight? What are you? I'm fine print! BWAH-HA-HA-HAAAH! mmmfff! mmmffff!

Garfield on 18th June 2014
18th June 2014

Let me guess...tonight's age nightmare? That's me! I'm the jar of pickles that you can't open any more! And you? I'm the package of batteries you never COULD open.

Garfield on 19th June 2014
19th June 2014

I don't fel like getting older. Maybe if I change the year, I'll get younger on my birthday. Garfield, have you seen my pacifier?

Garfield on 20th June 2014
20th June 2014

I'm in the mood for romance. I'm in the mood for pancakes! ROMANTIC pancakes! Good save, Romeo.

Garfield on 21st June 2014
21st June 2014

Xou know what would be fun? Letting your cat sleep? We could lie on the front porch... And sleep? And pretend that we're doormats! That say "beware of sleeping cat".

Garfield on 22nd June 2014
22nd June 2014

Z BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP click Here are your breakfast lawn gnomes, Garfield. And here's your breakfast guitar. I'm still asleep, aren't I? Ya think?

Garfield on 23rd June 2014
23rd June 2014

I'm tired of the daily grind. Oh, me, too. You probably don't even know what that means. I'm tired of hearing about it.

Garfield on 24th June 2014
24th June 2014

Another wildlife show. Always the sam ething. I get a craving for antilope.

Garfield on 25th June 2014
25th June 2014

BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Hey! I'm not done yet! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! You didn't have to go back to the beginning.

Garfield on 26th June 2014
26th June 2014

We insects have six legs. You have eight legs. Technically, yes... If you count the spares.

Garfield on 27th June 2014
27th June 2014

Today I put hats on my feet and a shoe on my head. On purpose? I told you she'd ask!

Garfield on 28th June 2014
28th June 2014

ding ding ** Ice cream man! How? Here's your wallet.

Garfield on 29th June 2014
29th June 2014

Garfield on 30th June 2014
30th June 2014

There's a whole world out there, Garfield... Just waiting to be experienced. But that would require going outside. Always a catch!

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