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Garfield on 1st February 2014
1st February 2014

You are not a dweeb. You are not a miserable failure. You are not ugly. Self-esteem ringtones.

Garfield on 2nd February 2014
2nd February 2014

OWWOOOOOO clap clap clap clap clap clap OWOOOOOOOO clap clap clap clap clap clap OOOWOOOOOOOOO clap clap clap clap clap OOOOOOWOOOOOOOO clap clap clap clap YOWR ROWR ROWR How was karaoke night? Tough room.

Garfield on 3rd February 2014
3rd February 2014

Well, hello Mr. Personality! Let the good times roll! Woo hoo! You sure do light up a room! And I'm not even trying.

Garfield on 4th February 2014
4th February 2014

Cats are mysterious... Really mysterious... What are you up to? Even I don't know.

Garfield on 5th February 2014
5th February 2014

BARK! Too lound. bark Too soft. Are you ever happy? Too whiny.

Garfield on 6th February 2014
6th February 2014

COUGH! GASP! WHEEZE! HACK! Okay, come in! Enough with the fresh air.

Garfield on 7th February 2014
7th February 2014

I need only two things, Liz. The love of a good woman... And a meticulous sock drawer. Do you know him? No.

Garfield on 8th February 2014
8th February 2014

That was my pet mule. She had three legs, a glass eye, and one tooth. I miss you, Aphrodite! I must have the movie rights.

Garfield on 9th February 2014
9th February 2014

Garfield on 10th February 2014
10th February 2014

I'm in a bad mood. And there's only one thing to do when that happens. Pass it on. Uh-oh.

Garfield on 11th February 2014
11th February 2014

Whoa! Apple pie! I must check behind my back more often!

Garfield on 12th February 2014
12th February 2014

Jon's contemplating his life. The joys, the sorrows... I'll never play the bagpipes. The roads not taken...

Garfield on 13th February 2014
13th February 2014

Sigh. I take it Garfield isn't coming. "meow".

Garfield on 14th February 2014
14th February 2014

A penny for your thoughts, Jon. Are nose hairs connected to the brain? A dollar if you never ask it again. Thank you.

Garfield on 15th February 2014
15th February 2014

Garfield, I was wondering... They say cats are clean animals... What happened to you? I'm a rebel.

Garfield on 16th February 2014
16th February 2014

Siiigh Well, there's a blizzard outside... Don't say it. We're snowe din... Don't say it. The cable TV has gone out... Don't say it. And we're out of hot chocolate. Don't say it. What ELSE can go wrong? You said it.

Garfield on 17th February 2014
17th February 2014

It's time to put an end to... It's time to start something.

Garfield on 18th February 2014
18th February 2014

I found my toolbox, Garfield! A man without tools is no man at all! Now, how does this open? Turn in your man card.

Garfield on 19th February 2014
19th February 2014

I have tools, Garfield! Men and tools built skyscrapers, you know... Like with this thingy. Put it back before you hurt somebody.

Garfield on 20th February 2014
20th February 2014

Oh, that's just great! The mice are using the cat for a bed! Should I make little blankets?! There is a chill. Ignore him.

Garfield on 21st February 2014
21st February 2014

Jon's dealing with the mouse problem in a very unique way. He's trying to adapt. Today is the worst day of my life. Say cheese.

Garfield on 22nd February 2014
22nd February 2014

GULP! Poor thing, your dish is empty. Timing is everything.

Garfield on 23rd February 2014
23rd February 2014

Let's make snow angels, Garfield! C'mon! It'll be fun! All you have to do is fall backward into the snow... And then flap your arms to make the angel wings! Watch me! Coming up next, a local man is gored by his own lawn gnome.

Garfield on 24th February 2014
24th February 2014

Here's what you are, Garfield. "Sedentary". It means you collect dust. Use it in a sentence.

Garfield on 25th February 2014
25th February 2014

Okay, everybody, break it up! Oh. It's just you, Garfield. I am NOT fat!

Garfield on 26th February 2014
26th February 2014

WAH-HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! snatch! hee hee hee hee New driver's license photo.

Garfield on 27th February 2014
27th February 2014

Sports have always been a big part of my life. Being bad at them, I mean. Ah.

Garfield on 28th February 2014
28th February 2014

Garfield! That popcorn was for everyone. And "everyone" is my middle name, baby!

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