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Garfield on 1st August 2008
1st August 2008

Liz paid for our date last night. That made me feel a little weird. It was a *good* weird, though. Free weird is a good weird.

Garfield on 2nd August 2008
2nd August 2008

Jon and I make a nice couple, don't you think, Garfield? Yes. Sort of like the way Argyle socks and polka-dotted bow ties go toghether. I sense sarcasm in that smile. You're getting to know me.

Garfield on 3rd August 2008
3rd August 2008

Hey! I've got *news* for you, buddy... You're not so smart! You're...not...so...smart! poke poke poke What do you think of *that*? ZIP

Garfield on 4th August 2008
4th August 2008

I bought Liz a dozen roses today...for no reason at all! I bet she'll be so surprised... FOR FIFTY BUCKS, SHE'D BETTER!!! A fleeting moment of male clarity.

Garfield on 5th August 2008
5th August 2008

Oooh, Flowers! Yeah, I got them from my latin dance instructor, Raoul. Oh... Kidding! They're for you, hon. Oh! I haven't tangoed since the Eisenhower administration.

Garfield on 6th August 2008
6th August 2008

Look, flowers! Liz sent *me* flowers! Is that even legel? Better draw the blinds.

Garfield on 7th August 2008
7th August 2008

Thanks for the flowers, Liz! You're welcome, Jon. They were great. "Were"? Were. BURP

Garfield on 8th August 2008
8th August 2008

Okay, who had the coffees? Um... Just a little coffee-bar humor, Sir. That guy always looks so sad. Your tips could make Binky the Clown sad.

Garfield on 9th August 2008
9th August 2008

I'm back from the store! sklish sklish sklish sklish sklish sklish The sprayers in the produce aisle got me again. In the right light, you do resemble a giant brussels sprout.

Garfield on 10th August 2008
10th August 2008

Garfield on 11th August 2008
11th August 2008

Odie, fetch me a pizza. This is one of the good dreams.

Garfield on 12th August 2008
12th August 2008

Hmmm. Funny leftovers or pizza? Just dial.

Garfield on 13th August 2008
13th August 2008

I'm going to order a pizza. bip bip boop beep bip And I can do it without the pompons. Oh, c'mon...gimme a "p".

Garfield on 14th August 2008
14th August 2008

Frank's pizza? This is Jon Arbuckle...I'd like to order my usual. Oh. Their forklift's in the shop. We'll starve!

Garfield on 15th August 2008
15th August 2008

...and deliver the pizza as soon as you can. How eill you know the right house? You'll know. I need more flares.

Garfield on 16th August 2008
16th August 2008

Thirty-five dollars?!! For pizza delivery?! The police escort was extra.

Garfield on 17th August 2008
17th August 2008

EEEEYAWWNNNN KAFF KAFF KAFF KAFF KAFF KAFF snuck snuck scratch scratch scratch snorfel snorfel snoff snoff snorf You were such a cute kitten. Blow it out your bunny slippers.

Garfield on 18th August 2008
18th August 2008

What do you have in your mouth? What's that? An inventory list.

Garfield on 19th August 2008
19th August 2008

I have generously decided to allow you to speak to me. You're fat. I'm too generous.

Garfield on 20th August 2008
20th August 2008

Ahem. I am not too fat! And I am not sensitive about my weight!

Garfield on 21st August 2008
21st August 2008

I'm fat. You're fat. AM NOT!

Garfield on 22nd August 2008
22nd August 2008

I am not. You're fat. We've had that conversation before.

Garfield on 23rd August 2008
23rd August 2008

Hey! You don't weigh much! Why, thank you ...for a guy without tusks. I knew it.

Garfield on 24th August 2008
24th August 2008

Garfield on 25th August 2008
25th August 2008

CRACK! You must diet now. Be a pal and slide some food down here.

Garfield on 26th August 2008
26th August 2008

You should eat a little less at each meal. I could do that, I suppose. Of course, it would mean doubling up on the snacks!

Garfield on 27th August 2008
27th August 2008

Did you ever stop to think that you might eat so much because of some emotionel need? ...that you eat to compensate for some inner need? Of course. It's called hunger, you dipstick.

Garfield on 28th August 2008
28th August 2008

I know it's hard, but try not to think of food. Try to visualize a peaceful meadow... I see it. Under a tree, sits a beautiful girl... Wearing a dress made of bacon.

Garfield on 29th August 2008
29th August 2008

I'm not fond of salads... And they hate me. DOINK! Stop throwing croutons at me!

Garfield on 30th August 2008
30th August 2008

How to lose weight What a great book! It's perfect for sneaking snacks. MUNCH MUNCH

Garfield on 31st August 2008
31st August 2008

GURRRGLE GURGLE Hey! Waiiiit a minute... This lousy diet has me seeing things again... You're a diet hallucination, aren't you?! Okay, sport. You got me. GURGLE URGLE URGLE ORGLE URGLE I wonder what diet hallucinations taste like.Chicken!

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