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Garfield on 1st January 2003
1st January 2003

- - Happy new year. Not from where I'M standing.

Garfield on 2nd January 2003
2nd January 2003

I have no regrets, Garfield. - Do you have any regrets? A few... - Beginning with this stupid conversation.

Garfield on 3rd January 2003
3rd January 2003

Just imagine the amazing things that will happen in the future. - - Like will I get the sesame seed from between my teeth?

Garfield on 4th January 2003
4th January 2003

Let's celebrate! - You're fat. - Not the excuse I would have picked, but it'll do.

Garfield on 5th January 2003
5th January 2003


Garfield on 6th January 2003
6th January 2003

In the long run, I think bad luck and good luck even out. - THUD - I missed the chair. You're going to have to get on a really, really, REALLY long run of good lick to catch up, pal.

Garfield on 7th January 2003
7th January 2003

Going somewhere? - Uh-huh. And unfortunately for you, this is it.

Garfield on 8th January 2003
8th January 2003

CRASH! - What was that? The new paperboy. - He has quite an arm.

Garfield on 9th January 2003
9th January 2003

- - If you average them out, they're normal.

Garfield on 10th January 2003
10th January 2003

Well, Cindy, I am a literally kind of guy. - Actually, I'm writing my memoir. - I'm up to my thumb-sucking years. That's three chapters.

Garfield on 11th January 2003
11th January 2003

Any requests? - - Yeah! Hold still!

Garfield on 12th January 2003
12th January 2003

- Jon, Jon Arbuckle! - Don't you remember me? Uh...no! - It's me...Bertha! - I've lost 200 pounds! Wow. - Well, gotta go! Good to see you. Yeah...you too. - Wow. I can't believe she would let herself go like that.

Garfield on 13th January 2003
13th January 2003

Is it my turn to decide what we do today? - Yes. - But it's my turn to say I don't want to do it.

Garfield on 14th January 2003
14th January 2003

The best things in life are free! - - How much would the SECOND-best things cost?

Garfield on 15th January 2003
15th January 2003

You're in medium-sized trouble, mister! - Rats. - That was hardly worth the effort.

Garfield on 16th January 2003
16th January 2003

It's one of those restless nights. - When the weight of the world comes down on you. - Like what if the refrigerator explodes?

Garfield on 17th January 2003
17th January 2003

You're getting fatter. - I am? - Whew! I thought the world was shrinking!

Garfield on 18th January 2003
18th January 2003

I have disdain for you. - - Unless "disdain" means something good.

Garfield on 19th January 2003
19th January 2003

and diving out windows, and my date...well... - Do you know what a really wet, really mad sheep dog looks like? First dates are always so awkward.

Garfield on 20th January 2003
20th January 2003

This sandwich tastes funny. - You think YOU have problems... - I have peanut butter between my toes.

Garfield on 21st January 2003
21st January 2003

There's something happening. - I finally got the wildfire in my sock drawer under control! - Out of the ordinary, I mean.

Garfield on 22nd January 2003
22nd January 2003

Don't bother me. - I said, don't bother me! - You just insist on existing, don't you?!

Garfield on 23rd January 2003
23rd January 2003

Check it out, Garfield. - A tie is the crowning touch to any ensemble. - And if you happen to have on that lights up... - You'll be an easier target.

Garfield on 24th January 2003
24th January 2003

I am really striking out, Garfield. - Even "Gap-Toothed Gretta," the distance-spitting queen, shot me down. Too bad. - She actually sounds like a fun date.

Garfield on 25th January 2003
25th January 2003

I'm back from damaging the neighborhood! - I just got off the phone. - Wonderful! Saves me from having to fill you in on all the details.

Garfield on 26th January 2003
26th January 2003

Garfield, check this out. - I bet not even YOU could be this relaxed. - - - - - OK, I'm humbled. Don't mess with the master.

Garfield on 27th January 2003
27th January 2003

You are the pet, I am the master. - The most important thing in your life is your master's voice. - Are you listening? Sorry, I was thinking about cereal.

Garfield on 28th January 2003
28th January 2003

Where's your smile, friend? - - I must have left it on my other face.

Garfield on 29th January 2003
29th January 2003

Jon, do we have a toothpick? - I have bread and ham stuck between my teeht... - ...on second thought, do we have any cheese?

Garfield on 30th January 2003
30th January 2003

Greetings...I am an alien life form bent on world domination. - Why are you in the refrigerator? - I used to be a meat loaf. JON!

Garfield on 31st January 2003
31st January 2003

That's it. No date. - I tried every woman I know. He did, too. - And even some I don't. Boy, were THEY surprised.

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