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Garfield on 1st April 2002
1st April 2002

The accordion is my life, Garfield. - You know why? I don't know, Jon...WHY? - Because I have soul! No, Jon. You have an accordion.

Garfield on 2nd April 2002
2nd April 2002

Hello, symphony orchestra? - I noticed you don't have an accordion player. - Yes, I'll stay on the line. While they trace the call.

Garfield on 3rd April 2002
3rd April 2002

My girlfriend is ashamed to be with me. Amen, brother! - She tried to run over it with her car. I feel your pain! - But I won't be stopped! "Accordions Anonymous".

Garfield on 4th April 2002
4th April 2002

I'm thinking our lawn needs something. - I'm thinking of a lawn ornament. - I'm thinking of a ten-foot concrete accordion. I'm thinking of moving.

Garfield on 5th April 2002
5th April 2002

Who needs women, Garfield? - All we need is a pair of tiny shoes, and... - It's the dancing accordion! You need a woman.

Garfield on 6th April 2002
6th April 2002

Accordion music isn't just music, Garfield. - It's a way of life. - And you get to wear leather shorts! Let's just leave it at that. Okay, Jon?

Garfield on 7th April 2002
7th April 2002

Uhhh... - Dinner will be a little late. - The lasagna needs a few more minutes... The LASAGNA?! - Stand aside...I'll be the judge of this! - My sincerest apologies, you were right. - - HEY! BURP

Garfield on 8th April 2002
8th April 2002

Garfield, let's think nice thoughts today. - - I'm floating on a cloud. I'm barbecuing a small woodland creature.

Garfield on 9th April 2002
9th April 2002

Odie, this is going to hurt me more than it will you. - BOOT! splat! - Or maybe not...

Garfield on 10th April 2002
10th April 2002

Still eating, Garfield? - Soon your stomach will grow large and you will explode. - He's like an evil fortune cookie.

Garfield on 11th April 2002
11th April 2002

Have you lost weight? - - You beast!

Garfield on 12th April 2002
12th April 2002

News flash! A deranged hamster is terrorizing the city! - Residents are advised against filling their pockets with lettuce and lying in tall grass. - Oh, great! There goes his weekend.

Garfield on 13th April 2002
13th April 2002

Doc, I have a stomach ache. - Indigestion?!... - Ohhh...so it's NOT a parasitic alien life form bent on world conquest? You live alone, you get paranoid.

Garfield on 14th April 2002
14th April 2002

- - BOOT! - - - - Stupid head wind.

Garfield on 15th April 2002
15th April 2002

You're more than a pet to me, Garfield. - You're like a son. - A big, fat, worthless son! Lighten up, dad.

Garfield on 16th April 2002
16th April 2002

I make a lot of things around here, Garfield. - I make the house clean. I make the meals... - I make the beds... And don't forget that continual whining sound.

Garfield on 17th April 2002
17th April 2002

You have it so easy! - Easy?...EASY?! - I'm working without a mattress here!

Garfield on 18th April 2002
18th April 2002

Let's make a list of your faults, Garfield. - Fat, lazy, selfish... And... - And let's not forget disrespectful. My personal favorite.

Garfield on 19th April 2002
19th April 2002

When you were little, you'd lie on my lap and purr. - BURP - That was long, looong ago. I've matured nicely, don't you think?

Garfield on 20th April 2002
20th April 2002

I'm tired of just lying here. - - Carry me someplace else. yank yank

Garfield on 21st April 2002
21st April 2002

still the happiest moment in my life. I'm cold. Can you warm me up? Me too. I'm BURNING up...got any cream? Hey, parlez-vous francais, anyone?!

Garfield on 22nd April 2002
22nd April 2002

I'm perfect. - You're a mess. - That's a PERFECT mess, bozo!

Garfield on 23rd April 2002
23rd April 2002

Maybe someday they'll make a movie about my life. - Whoa... - Those poor stunt men!

Garfield on 24th April 2002
24th April 2002

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! - Hey, Jon! - Check out this comic about a fat, lazy human!

Garfield on 25th April 2002
25th April 2002

I wonder if gravity is still working. - PUSH - It's nice to know that there are some things you can count on. THUD

Garfield on 26th April 2002
26th April 2002

Women like a man of mystery, so I'm going to wear a mask on my date. - This should be a hoot. - Don't wait up. Take me with you.

Garfield on 27th April 2002
27th April 2002

Ready to eat, Garfield? Excuse me?! - I eat, I sleep. That's all I do. Do I look like I'm sleeping? - Are you okay? DO YOU SEE A "Z" FLOATING OVEr MY HEAD?!

Garfield on 28th April 2002
28th April 2002

shoved his bishop up my nose. - It's kind of hard to talk about. Not half as hard as it is to listen to.

Garfield on 29th April 2002
29th April 2002

Somewhere out there is the woman for me. - - Hiding, no doubt. That was MY line!

Garfield on 30th April 2002
30th April 2002

Uh-huh. I see. Okay. Makes sense. All right. I can't argure with that one. - I had no idea there were so many reasons not to go out with me. - * RIING She thought of some more.

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