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Garfield on 1st September 2000
1st September 2000

When I'm done with the paper, I'll fix your dinner. - RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP - As soon as I said that, I knew it was a mistake. You're done with the paper. Now, fix my dinner!

Garfield on 2nd September 2000
2nd September 2000

There are a lot of problems in the worls. - SOME of which aren't your fault. - Rare praise indeed.

Garfield on 3rd September 2000
3rd September 2000

* - - ! - - - - tap tap Scary Stories II

Garfield on 4th September 2000
4th September 2000

Help! I'm a jelly-filled donut! - I'm afraid someone will eat me! - Will you protect me? Some days, life kisses you right on the lips.

Garfield on 5th September 2000
5th September 2000

I'm hot. - I'm hot. - Hot's taken. You'll have to be cold.

Garfield on 6th September 2000
6th September 2000

The last cookie is gone. - And I think it's safe to assume where it went. Don't be too sure... - I'M not the one with chocolate chips on my tongue.

Garfield on 7th September 2000
7th September 2000

www.coffeequick.com tic tic tic - click ** DING-DONG - I now officially love the Internet.

Garfield on 8th September 2000
8th September 2000

But WHY won't you go out with me, Beth?! - I can't dance?! Well, I CAN dance! - I'm doing a box step with my cat right now! - Why do you always have to lead?

Garfield on 9th September 2000
9th September 2000

Boy, it's hot! - clop clop clop - And we're short of ice cube trays!

Garfield on 10th September 2000
10th September 2000

- - - - -

Garfield on 11th September 2000
11th September 2000

- Cootchie, cootchie, coo! - You can't stay on the ceiling forever.

Garfield on 12th September 2000
12th September 2000

I ate a millipede for lunch. - How was it? Awful! - He went down kicking and screaming and kicking and screaming and kicking...

Garfield on 13th September 2000
13th September 2000

- SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT SWAT - That was some impressive open-field running. Thank you.

Garfield on 14th September 2000
14th September 2000

My uncle Barton was an actor. - He died tragically while shooting a bug spray commercial. - They gave hima union funeral...open cocoon, 21-fly salute...everything. - You're boring me.

Garfield on 15th September 2000
15th September 2000

Did you squish my husband yesterday?! Probably. - Then I need you to sign these insurance papers verifying he wasn't injured on the job. What was his job? - Household pest. Then was on the clock, lady.

Garfield on 16th September 2000
16th September 2000

Would you like to hear the story of my life? Sure. - SMACK - Keep it short!

Garfield on 17th September 2000
17th September 2000

Hot pepper eating contest! - Jalapeno! - Cyenne! - Habanero! - Peruvian death pepper! - FOOM! - You win... Then why am I not happy?

Garfield on 18th September 2000
18th September 2000

You're reading? - Instead of paying attention to me?! - Here's an article about you. I can wait.

Garfield on 19th September 2000
19th September 2000

The dog says, "arf". - The cow says, "moo". - And the cat says, ... Leave me alone or I'll buy your book.

Garfield on 20th September 2000
20th September 2000

He just keeps on reading. - Totally ignoring my needs. - Forcing me to pull one of those little hairs out of his neck.

Garfield on 21st September 2000
21st September 2000

Wouldn't it be great to walk on the moon, Garfield? - Oh, I see right through your thinly weiled ploy, pal... - Always trying to get me to exercise!

Garfield on 22nd September 2000
22nd September 2000

"A rubber mouse can provide hours of entertainment for your cat". - Which reminds me... - Where's yours? Melted it down. Made earplugs.

Garfield on 23rd September 2000
23rd September 2000

Jon learns a word every day. - Here's a good one! - The same word. "Filbert".

Garfield on 24th September 2000
24th September 2000

still the leader. Go figure.

Garfield on 25th September 2000
25th September 2000

- - Out of Order

Garfield on 26th September 2000
26th September 2000

Jon's always followed his own fashoin path. - squeek clank squeek clank squeek clank - Stainless steel trousers. squeek clank squeek clank squeek clank I am soooo hip.

Garfield on 27th September 2000
27th September 2000

PHHHHHHHHHHHT! - Now you try it. - Towel, please.

Garfield on 28th September 2000
28th September 2000

You'd better not pick on me, cat, 'cause if you do... - I'll tell my big brother! - Please spare me.

Garfield on 29th September 2000
29th September 2000

Hey, lady, it's friday night! - Maybe you'd like to go to a movie or something? - You can't knit anytime, grandma! A new rejection record!

Garfield on 30th September 2000
30th September 2000

Sometimes I don't feel wanted. - Oh, goody, mail! Anything for me? Not much... - Just this eviction note from the planet earth.

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