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Garfield on 1st August 2000
1st August 2000

There are days when I just don't feel like doing anything. Take today for instance... -

Garfield on 2nd August 2000
2nd August 2000

Garfield, all you ever do is sleep. What if the whole world were like you? We'd be a poor, yet rested people.

Garfield on 3rd August 2000
3rd August 2000

HI, I'm a worm. I burrow under the ground and eat dirt. What do you do for fun? I like to boogie down on the sidewalk after a good rain.

Garfield on 4th August 2000
4th August 2000

Do you like being a worm? Do cats eat worms? No. I LOVE being a worm.

Garfield on 5th August 2000
5th August 2000

So, you live underground and eat soil? That's right. What do you do for a living? Dig. That's not too glamorous. It puts dirt on the table.

Garfield on 6th August 2000
6th August 2000

Garfield on 7th August 2000
7th August 2000

Garfield, is this your coffee or mine? sip Mine.

Garfield on 8th August 2000
8th August 2000

Yip! Yip! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yip! Yip! Yap! Yip! Yap! Yap! Yip! Yap! Yip! That's telling it.

Garfield on 9th August 2000
9th August 2000

I think I pulled a muscle in my pinky finger while trimming the bougainvillaea. Well, it HURTS! Stand back, everyone...give this man some air...the ambulance is on its way...

Garfield on 10th August 2000
10th August 2000

You irk me. Dictionary Thank you!

Garfield on 11th August 2000
11th August 2000

I saw a woman at the mall today with a big tattoo of a bowling ball on her leg. She wore an eye patch, and was carrying an iguana. You asked her out, didn't you? Shot me down like a one-winged duck.

Garfield on 12th August 2000
12th August 2000

Ahhhh...that was a great meal, wasn't it? What?...oh yeah, sure. slup slup slup slup That boy loves pizza.

Garfield on 13th August 2000
13th August 2000

Garfield on 14th August 2000
14th August 2000

I was a lonely child, Garfield. Ho boy... My playmates were barnyard animals. Ever try to get a heifer into a ftree house? Let's not go there.

Garfield on 15th August 2000
15th August 2000

Ursuella Nelson...my first girlfriend. We had some wild times. At night we'd sneak out to the barn and drink unpasteurized milk! Another piece of the puzzle!

Garfield on 16th August 2000
16th August 2000

I'm not a countryboy anymore, mom. I even buy eggs at a store. Don't cry, ma! You could have broken it to her more gently.

Garfield on 17th August 2000
17th August 2000

I remember summer nights on the farm... A gentle breeze wafting through the meadow... Chasing each other with cattle prods... There was something in the water.

Garfield on 18th August 2000
18th August 2000

Here's a great picture from the farm. It was taken the day we got indoor plumbing. The entire family gathered around the toilet. You mom looks so proud cutting that ribbon.

Garfield on 19th August 2000
19th August 2000

I wasn't a popular child, Garfield. Go figure. The other kids would go out and play "Jump Rope". When I came out, it was "Tie the geek to a tree". Hey, they included you.

Garfield on 20th August 2000
20th August 2000

All right, that was three times...now lie down.

Garfield on 21st August 2000
21st August 2000

BRING MY PANTS BACK!

Garfield on 22nd August 2000
22nd August 2000

slap! slap! AAIIIIIEEEE Nothing like a little aftershave lotion to help you find that paper cut.

Garfield on 23rd August 2000
23rd August 2000

I finally got the toilet unclogged. Know what it was? Well?! He was having a drink, and I was in a playful mood...

Garfield on 24th August 2000
24th August 2000

WHIRRRRRRRRRR That's it, Jonny boy...that's it! WHIRRRRRRRRR Make that baby WHINE! WHIRRRRRRRRRRR ATTA BABY! ATTA BABY!

Garfield on 25th August 2000
25th August 2000

** DING-DONG YAAAHHHH! Your date's here.

Garfield on 26th August 2000
26th August 2000

It's so sad that you don't know how to share. Sad for YOU, maybe.

Garfield on 27th August 2000
27th August 2000

WAH-HOO! Bay-bee! Bay-bee! Yes, yes, yes, yes, YESSSSSSS! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! Hoo da man?! Hoo da man?! You da man.

Garfield on 28th August 2000
28th August 2000

Paper says there's an ice age coming. It'll be here in two million years. Better start moving to the cellar, Garfield... Ha, ha, ha...

Garfield on 29th August 2000
29th August 2000

Says here they discovered an ancient city. Maybe someday they'll find this house! Wonder what they'll say. "Archaeologist finds bad suit".

Garfield on 30th August 2000
30th August 2000

I'm still here. I can read VERY slowly. I can sit for a LONG time.

Garfield on 31st August 2000
31st August 2000

I saw a beautiful woman on the bus yesterday, Garfield. It was love at first sight. At least on my part. "Woman jumps from moving bus".

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