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Garfield on 1st March 1999
1st March 1999

SNIIIIIFFFFFFFF ...NYAAAACCKK-KOFF HACK HACK KOFF KOFF AACCK Monday air.

Garfield on 2nd March 1999
2nd March 1999

Why can't YOU smile like that? *I* haven't been using your toothbrush.

Garfield on 3rd March 1999
3rd March 1999

I am NOT dull! thud

Garfield on 4th March 1999
4th March 1999

I think I'll take a nap. I think I'll stay awake.

Garfield on 5th March 1999
5th March 1999

I'm a complicated guy, Ellen. Sort of a puzzle. Like connect the dots. Poor Ellen, poor, poor, poor Ellen.

Garfield on 6th March 1999
6th March 1999

HONK Scare you, Garfield? No, but I did swallow my teddy bear.

Garfield on 7th March 1999
7th March 1999

squeek squeek Garfield and Odie * It's time the boys learn to share. Dinner! SMACK! May we have a word with you?

Garfield on 8th March 1999
8th March 1999

To prepare your bird for roasting, you'll need bread, stuffing, and three eggs. But before we do that... Why don't we play with it a little? bat bat swipe bat The All-Cat Cooking Channel.

Garfield on 9th March 1999
9th March 1999

Notice when I throw the ball...the dog fetches it. A cat won't do that. And why not? Does the word PRIDE ring a bell?

Garfield on 10th March 1999
10th March 1999

Coming up next... "Mind Readers". I knew that.

Garfield on 11th March 1999
11th March 1999

...and lastly, we flambe our souffle with an acetylene torch! ahhhh-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!! FOOOSH YAAAH! Please stand by: "Psych Chef" is currently experiencing technical difficulties. "Technical"? Grab him! Grab him!

Garfield on 12th March 1999
12th March 1999

Taking a look at tomorrow's weather... The high temperature will be between 40 below zero and 200 above! This guy's never wrong.

Garfield on 13th March 1999
13th March 1999

Then we place our casserole into the oven and let it bake for 45 minutes. ** hmm hmm hmm * This part of the program usually gets pretty boring. Anyone know any good jokes?

Garfield on 14th March 1999
14th March 1999

Sigh You know, Arlene... Yes, Garfield? There's only one person for me. Yeeees? One person, worthy of my adoration... Oh, Garfield. Me. But enough about me. You talk about me for a while. ...or not.

Garfield on 15th March 1999
15th March 1999

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! clap clap clap Would you mind applauding a little longer? I only have 37 seconds worth of material.

Garfield on 16th March 1999
16th March 1999

The Amazing Odie will now attempt to read his own mind! Sorry, folks, you can get your money back at the door.

Garfield on 17th March 1999
17th March 1999

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Garfield on 18th March 1999
18th March 1999

Hi, everyone, we're The Puppet Friends! Will you be our friend? You silly, EVERYONE loves puppet friends! DEATH TO PUPPETS! Except for that moron in the second row! Yeah, steop closer and say that, punk!

Garfield on 19th March 1999
19th March 1999

So the guy says, "Hey, I thought thet was your face!" But, I wanna tell you... bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz I hate these barber conventions.

Garfield on 20th March 1999
20th March 1999

It's great to see all you cool cats out there! Arf! Security!

Garfield on 21st March 1999
21st March 1999

munch munch munch

Garfield on 22nd March 1999
22nd March 1999

Inside here, it's warm and cozy. Out there is tribulation. HEY! BIG SOCK SALE TODAY! I rest my case.

Garfield on 23rd March 1999
23rd March 1999

Have you seen Odie? No. WHUMP! So NOW what do you have to say? Obviously we're dealing with an inferior adhesive.

Garfield on 24th March 1999
24th March 1999

Hmm hmm * GAAAH See what *I* have to endure? Very funny!

Garfield on 25th March 1999
25th March 1999

Wow! Van Gogh cut off his ear for the woman he loved. I wonder what I could cut off? How about that last shred of dignity?

Garfield on 26th March 1999
26th March 1999

Fine, Ellen, don't go out with me! I don't want your sympathy! Unless that work! And he can go even lower, lady.

Garfield on 27th March 1999
27th March 1999

It's cold today. I'm wearing socks. Even my sock puppet is wearing a sock.

Garfield on 28th March 1999
28th March 1999

** DING DONG ** DING DONG ? ** DING DONG * DING * DONG

Garfield on 29th March 1999
29th March 1999

Garfield, how would you like a nice treat? Lay it on me! It's sort of a rap polka thing. Suckered again!

Garfield on 30th March 1999
30th March 1999

I framed a picture of my hero. Cyrillys Damian, inventor of the accordion. Just before his execution. There IS justice in the world.

Garfield on 31st March 1999
31st March 1999

And now, everyone's favorite polka band... "The Geek Boys"! ACCORDION RULES! YESSS! It's the end of the world.

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