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Garfield on 1st May 1997
1st May 1997

Cats are good. - Cat hair is good. Hair balls are good. - Hair balls are our friends. Sensitivity training.

Garfield on 2nd May 1997
2nd May 1997

You WILL go out with me? All right! - When? - How long is a millenium? You'd better start getting ready.

Garfield on 3rd May 1997
3rd May 1997

Jon forgot my fork. - -

Garfield on 4th May 1997
4th May 1997

- Hey dipwad, time to feed the cat! - Take a moment out of your pathetic existence to care for your living pet, you dork! - - I...I guess I'll, uh...fix your dinner. - ZIP - And make it snappy, geek boy! I love this thing.

Garfield on 5th May 1997
5th May 1997

Look, Garfield! - It's the 24-hour sock drawer channel! - Welcome to "Darning for Dollars"! All right! I think I'll go dust off the radio.

Garfield on 6th May 1997
6th May 1997

First we caress the meal with our eyes... - Then we allow the scent to permeate the room... - Then we shove our face in the plate and inhale! snort! grunt! gulp! I knew she'd crack.

Garfield on 7th May 1997
7th May 1997

So one accountant says to the other, "you're so accrual, you don't depreciate me anymore!" - Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I don't get in. - This has been "Inside Joke Theater". Figured.

Garfield on 8th May 1997
8th May 1997

Now it's time to play "Name That Pain"! Listen carefully, contestants... - Ouch! Eeech! Yaaach! Yeeech! Oiiiieee! BZZZT - Pat, that's a guy who forgot to take all the pins out of his new shirt! I knew that one! Go figure.

Garfield on 9th May 1997
9th May 1997

slap slap slap slap slap slap - slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap -"Ninja Sissies" will return in a moment. Where's the remote?

Garfield on 10th May 1997
10th May 1997

Welcome, th "Ed, the Wonder Ca-... CLICK - ...the adventures of "Lothar: Mouse Warrior"! - I hope those batteries wear down soon.

Garfield on 11th May 1997
11th May 1997

greatest feast in history! - RIINNG

Garfield on 12th May 1997
12th May 1997

Z - Z - Ever have a day when you just can't wake up? Z

Garfield on 13th May 1997
13th May 1997


Garfield on 14th May 1997
14th May 1997

Garfield, I'm giving you a bad attitude award. - Oh, great. What am I supposed to do with this stupid... - Say, I AM good.

Garfield on 15th May 1997
15th May 1997

- - We're being annoying in shifts.

Garfield on 16th May 1997
16th May 1997

This is a personalized cologne, Garfield. - They match your personality with just the right scent. - It's called "Eau de Geek". Smells like a pocket protector.

Garfield on 17th May 1997
17th May 1997

I worked on a jigsaw puzzle for eight hours. - As it turned out, there was a piece missing. Small world. - I worked on a puzzle for eight hours, and there were 499 pieces missing.

Garfield on 18th May 1997
18th May 1997

- - - - clickety clickety clickety - Sigh - Time sure crawls when you're waiting for the pizza delivery guy.

Garfield on 19th May 1997
19th May 1997

Look, Garfield! - A new brand of kitty treats! - They're shaped like little running mailmen. "Sugar sweetened civil servants," I like it!

Garfield on 20th May 1997
20th May 1997

Garfield, if you're reeeeal good today... - I'll give you a kitty treat. Hmmm. - Looks like I have to maul him for the box again.

Garfield on 21st May 1997
21st May 1997

- YAAHHH - HOOOOOOOOO New "lasagna flavored" kitty treats.

Garfield on 22nd May 1997
22nd May 1997

Sorry, pal, we're out of kitty treats. - I might pick some up when I find the time. - Any coupons?

Garfield on 23rd May 1997
23rd May 1997

A new goldfish! Wait! I'm not just any fish. I'm a magic fish. - Yeah, right. Really! I can grant your fondest wish. - Okay, I wish for some tartar sauce. He's not buying it.

Garfield on 24th May 1997
24th May 1997

What have you got in your mouth, Garfield? Nothing. - Garfield?! - It's NOT one of those birds that looks kind of like a sparrow, but isn't. I forget what they're called.

Garfield on 25th May 1997
25th May 1997

Hmp! - Look at you, you lazy lump! - Get up! Move around! Exercise! - Go outside! Breathe some fresh air! - Go to the library! Read a book! - You're still sitting there, aren't you? Yup. - Goooood, I have trained you well.

Garfield on 26th May 1997
26th May 1997

Forget it, Garfield. - You had lunch just an hour ago. - Stop living in the past, Jon.

Garfield on 27th May 1997
27th May 1997

Odie is chilly, so I'm going to help him put on socks. - -

Garfield on 28th May 1997
28th May 1997

That's me at the prom. - Out theme was "Dairy Products for Strong Bones". - I was voted "King of the Udders"! Nice costume.

Garfield on 29th May 1997
29th May 1997

Garfield! - Did you break this lamp? - Only that bottom half there.

Garfield on 30th May 1997
30th May 1997

It's fun time! - - Maybe the clock is slow.

Garfield on 31st May 1997
31st May 1997

Laugh, and the worls laughs with you! - - Get a live, world!

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