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Garfield on 1st May 1997
1st May 1997

Cats are good. Cat hair is good. Hair balls are good. Hair balls are our friends. Sensitivity training.

Garfield on 2nd May 1997
2nd May 1997

You WILL go out with me? All right! When? How long is a millenium? You'd better start getting ready.

Garfield on 3rd May 1997
3rd May 1997

Jon forgot my fork. -

Garfield on 4th May 1997
4th May 1997

Hey dipwad, time to feed the cat! Take a moment out of your pathetic existence to care for your living pet, you dork! I...I guess I'll, uh...fix your dinner. ZIP And make it snappy, geek boy! I love this thing.

Garfield on 5th May 1997
5th May 1997

Look, Garfield! It's the 24-hour sock drawer channel! Welcome to "Darning for Dollars"! All right! I think I'll go dust off the radio.

Garfield on 6th May 1997
6th May 1997

First we caress the meal with our eyes... Then we allow the scent to permeate the room... Then we shove our face in the plate and inhale! snort! grunt! gulp! I knew she'd crack.

Garfield on 7th May 1997
7th May 1997

So one accountant says to the other, "you're so accrual, you don't depreciate me anymore!" Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I don't get in. This has been "Inside Joke Theater". Figured.

Garfield on 8th May 1997
8th May 1997

Now it's time to play "Name That Pain"! Listen carefully, contestants... Ouch! Eeech! Yaaach! Yeeech! Oiiiieee! BZZZT Pat, that's a guy who forgot to take all the pins out of his new shirt! I knew that one! Go figure.

Garfield on 9th May 1997
9th May 1997

slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap -"Ninja Sissies" will return in a moment. Where's the remote?

Garfield on 10th May 1997
10th May 1997

Welcome, th "Ed, the Wonder Ca-... CLICK ...the adventures of "Lothar: Mouse Warrior"! I hope those batteries wear down soon.

Garfield on 11th May 1997
11th May 1997

Garfield on 12th May 1997
12th May 1997

Z Z Ever have a day when you just can't wake up? Z

Garfield on 13th May 1997
13th May 1997

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK Beware Of The Dog

Garfield on 14th May 1997
14th May 1997

Garfield, I'm giving you a bad attitude award. Oh, great. What am I supposed to do with this stupid... Say, I AM good.

Garfield on 15th May 1997
15th May 1997

We're being annoying in shifts.

Garfield on 16th May 1997
16th May 1997

This is a personalized cologne, Garfield. They match your personality with just the right scent. It's called "Eau de Geek". Smells like a pocket protector.

Garfield on 17th May 1997
17th May 1997

I worked on a jigsaw puzzle for eight hours. As it turned out, there was a piece missing. Small world. I worked on a puzzle for eight hours, and there were 499 pieces missing.

Garfield on 18th May 1997
18th May 1997

clickety clickety clickety Sigh Time sure crawls when you're waiting for the pizza delivery guy.

Garfield on 19th May 1997
19th May 1997

Look, Garfield! A new brand of kitty treats! They're shaped like little running mailmen. "Sugar sweetened civil servants," I like it!

Garfield on 20th May 1997
20th May 1997

Garfield, if you're reeeeal good today... I'll give you a kitty treat. Hmmm. Looks like I have to maul him for the box again.

Garfield on 21st May 1997
21st May 1997

YAAHHH HOOOOOOOOO New "lasagna flavored" kitty treats.

Garfield on 22nd May 1997
22nd May 1997

Sorry, pal, we're out of kitty treats. I might pick some up when I find the time. Any coupons?

Garfield on 23rd May 1997
23rd May 1997

A new goldfish! Wait! I'm not just any fish. I'm a magic fish. Yeah, right. Really! I can grant your fondest wish. Okay, I wish for some tartar sauce. He's not buying it.

Garfield on 24th May 1997
24th May 1997

What have you got in your mouth, Garfield? Nothing. Garfield?! It's NOT one of those birds that looks kind of like a sparrow, but isn't. I forget what they're called.

Garfield on 25th May 1997
25th May 1997

Hmp! Look at you, you lazy lump! Get up! Move around! Exercise! Go outside! Breathe some fresh air! Go to the library! Read a book! You're still sitting there, aren't you? Yup. Goooood, I have trained you well.

Garfield on 26th May 1997
26th May 1997

Forget it, Garfield. You had lunch just an hour ago. Stop living in the past, Jon.

Garfield on 27th May 1997
27th May 1997

Odie is chilly, so I'm going to help him put on socks. -

Garfield on 28th May 1997
28th May 1997

That's me at the prom. Out theme was "Dairy Products for Strong Bones". I was voted "King of the Udders"! Nice costume.

Garfield on 29th May 1997
29th May 1997

Garfield! Did you break this lamp? Only that bottom half there.

Garfield on 30th May 1997
30th May 1997

It's fun time! Maybe the clock is slow.

Garfield on 31st May 1997
31st May 1997

Laugh, and the worls laughs with you! Get a live, world!

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